The Expectation Trap



Expectations are an integral part of human nature. An expectation almost always lurks in our desires, choices, decisions and/or our interaction with other people. There are two types of expectations, which are the positive ones or other times the pessimistic ones that are intertwined with negative feelings, such as fear, insecurity, anger, sadness etc. In both cases, people act based on their expectations; sometimes tying to succeed or other times avoiding their fulfillment. That is due to our biological makeup and our social environments, known as biosocial theory. The wiring in our brains contributes to how we experience and control emotions, act on desires, expectations and urges. Also, at a young age we learn from those around us what to expect from ourselves, from others and our environment and how to respond to our needs and desires.


An ideal scenario would be to have no expectations at all, but that's easier said than done. So what can we do?

First of all, we need to keep in mind that people are not mind readers and thus no one can read our thoughts/expectations. It is best to communicate with others and be clear and honest about what we want/expect. Self-awareness is also very important. The better we know ourselves, the better we identify, manage and overcome fears and insecurities. The more secure we are with ourselves, the more able we are to recognize what is expected from us and/or others.


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